Yes even one point in my life I cussed God, kicked him out of my life and kicked out the people who were in my house trying to tell Sherry about God. I was the meanest of the mean, a snake of snakes, rotten of the rotten; you could say I was the devils stepchild.

People hated me and many were scared of me, back in the life of the way I was living I would care less about you. Ran with the worst folks you could ever think of, gangs and who ever I could use to gain power, I would rather put a bullet to your head and be done with you. Sherry could tell you that people did not want to be around me, the devil and his demons were living in me and I lived and served for them, even worshiped them at one point.

So how did I come from the most hated person you could know, a person who would have bash your head in if you looked at me wrong way to a pastor?

It all started way back, when I was younger in age back in the early teens, I was going to Northside Baptist Church at this time and wanted to become a youth minister because of my friend Timothy was. I knew about God but never fully understood the cross and what Jesus Christ did because at the time I wanted that but the world is what I wanted more.

When I got to the age of getting me a car I met this girl who I fell in love with or thought I did, but ended up doing the things she did and she was into drugs but I thought if I did what she did she would love me and we could become boyfriend and girlfriend.

I thought in order for me to know her, I drove her around, hung out with her and even started doing the things and drugs that she was doing with hope of her becoming my girlfriend for life.

But it never happen and she went with some other guy, after that I was hurt and because of that I went further and further into the life of drugs, partying and women. As time went on more and more drugs came into my life. But worst of all I also had a hate in my life and because of that I really wanted to kill because of my anger.

Early in the 80s I met another girl who I fell in love with and I knew she was the one, I even drew her into my style of life and as but we grew closer to each other I treated her like a queen and gave her all what ever she wanted in life. My life of the hard drinking and drugs kind of tapered off a bit but I knew yes, she really was the one; I worshiped the ground she walked on.

But one day I got a phone call from her and she gave me the news, she told me after talking with her mom she decided it was best for us to break up this was 11 months prior to wanting to ask her to marry me after working a lot of overtime to pay for everything and give her what she wanted.

Let me tell you I went berserk, stark raven mad, rage and intense hate filled my heart, the thoughts of murder came into my life and I was going to go shoot her, kill, kill, kill were in my heart and mind and to kill anyone else for the fact.

But after a few months the rages turned into depression and before you know it, I tried to kill myself, but I messed up that attempt and it was my friend who found me and helped me come out of it and covered it up so my parents or friends would not find out.

I went well that was it, whats the use. Then it was no use living so I decided to kill myself another way by using the drugs and alcohol to a point of where it will kill and destroy my body, and on top of it I was going to use women to a point of not caring about them or how many I hurt in the process. I just wanted them for my pleasure and have more hate for them and other people for the fact.

The drugs you name I did it all, any drugs that came my way I took it and did not care. Hate and rage filled my heart more and more, and my heart was harden to a point I did not care about anyone or the girls I met or who lives I destroyed in the process in fact I took pleasure in doing this.

This went on for a few years up from 80 to 82. Then in May of 83 I saw another girl, she was pretty and smiled at me and I found out from other friends she liked me, well my trust for women was not that great and I did not believe it, but I said to myself another nice victim to destroy and use her like a piece of meat and throw it away when I was done and laugh at her when she was destroyed.

So I said what the heck, I was going to use her till I got tired of her like I did with the others and then throw her away like trash. But after 3 years we were still together and I was thinking well you know what maybe I should marry her so I can have a wife to do what I want when I want with her, to have my needs met anytime any place and someone to live with till I got tired of it.

At this time the life of wild parties, using drugs and what not kind of slowed down but it was still there and I ended up bringing Sherry into that world. We got married and we had fun and we partying with all my friends and had a great time, but my hate was still within me, the lack of trust was still their and I still was not sure if this would last or not, but who cared.

But as time went on the drugs was in both of our lives and one year it was a bad year. I got her hooked into my world of cocaine and one night after buying a kilo of cocaine because at this time I was dealing drugs to live the way we was living. We did coke all night, all day and the next night and day it was that demon that needed to be feed, it was saying give me, give me, feed me, we could not stop more, more and more.

This binge went on for a while then Sherry starting to look like she was oding, she turned white as a sheet, bleeding from the nose and I knew she was dying. I told my friend to get all of my stuff out of the house and told him this is the story we are going to tell the cops when she dies, we will use this to cover up ourselves and get out of trouble story.

But as the day went on I was watching her breath and waiting for her to take her last breath, she kept on and after a few days I said to myself this has to stop. So as time went on that hard life of drugs slowed down, most of the times I was using coke for a few times, but we was using it or what I call light stuff.

But we were living and having a grand old time and going out with friends, on trips and partying, buying things, homes, you name it things were looking up we had it all nothing could stop me or get in my way.

But during these times of our marriage the issues of hate, the anger, the evil was still their in me. The distrust was still in my mind and the results were I abused Sherry mentally, to me she was nothing more to me than cooking my food, getting my cigarettes and meeting my sexual needs.

Then back in 99 something happen. Sherry starting getting sick, she started a battle with a bad disease and the end result it took away the wife I once had. The sicker she got the less and less we knew each other.

My anger and hate I had for her grown worst and worst because we could not party anymore, could not do things anymore, could not have fun anymore more, she was bad shape and I got to a point of looking for another woman to have fun with and use her like I was doing with Sherry.

So my life was nothing, it was just going to work and coming home playing computer games, work and computer games, thats all I had to do, with a wife so sick it was no life to live. During this process it also messed up my mind real bad, it caused me real high levels of stress from work, fighting with her, the bills were piling up, poor health; work place was not that great, life with the wife that I did not care for any more so on.

To me life was not worth it anymore and all these things that were coming at me. I was thinking of just shooting her, then go out kill others and take my own life in the process or get the cops to kill me. But I went on each day with no end in sight.

Back in November of 03 it got real ugly when the wife was sent to the hospital she was sick real bad and when the docs performed the entire test, they called me into a room. When I walked in the room they had 3 of them looking at a screen of the tests they did on her and seeing that I knew something was wrong.

When they gave me the news it was not good, she needed surgery real bad because she was dying. I did not know what to do or where to turn. During the 3rd day around 2 am in the morning I could not take it anymore and I came apart. I was losing my mind. I went down stairs to the church in the hospital. Why? At that time it was unknown but I was drawn their, but guess what they had the doors locked.

Great who in heck would lock a door to a church, you know what blank on it there is no God he is a joke, so I was going to give up and started walking out the hospital. I was going to get into my truck drive out west till the thing ran out of gas and vanish into the world where no one will ever know nor find me and leave some folks asking what happen to Jimmy Thibodeaux.

I wanted my life back, I did not ask for all of this, I did not ask for a sick wife, All I wanted was to have fun of living a life I that I once had, the parties, drugs, woman, money, power you name it. It was all about me.

As I got to the exit door there was a force, something that was blocking me. I could not explain it at that time, but something was preventing me from going through that door so I wander off to the left to go out of the next door, but I did not.

I just walked around a bit. Finally I sat down in some chairs in the lobby and next to it was the set up of baby Jesus manger scene. I started staring at it and looking at the baby Jesus in the little manger then I broke down and cried and asked O Lord Help me.

After a few hours in that lobby I went back up to the room to go back to sleep, the TV was on and the 700 club was playing, the guy that was talking said that someone right now named James being deaf in the right ear is having troubles, let us pray for him and ask God to help him. I looked at that screen and went what the heck, naaaaa it must have been another person or something.

That morning the Doctor came into the room and said this, what we can do for now is up her meds to a higher dose, but this will give you time to get you affairs in order and get your finances together, but she must have that surgery as soon as possible.

Week later we left the hospital, we came home and later on I told Sherry you better go to church and get right with God and said you really need to go. You better get saved. So she said ok, but what church do we go to, I said I do not know so we will go look for one come Sunday morning.

As we got into the car and drove out I was coming into town and happen to look over to my left and I saw Northside Baptist Church, thinking back on my days of wanting to become youth minister it hit me to go in and pull in the parking lot and go inside. As we walked in many of the members came up to us and greeted us with warm smiles, hugs and welcome us to the church and they had us sit down in the front.

When asked why we were drawn here we told many of them what was going on with Sherry and what she was going to go through and what was happing in her life. After talking to many of the members and letting them know how bad my wife was, the surgeries she was going to endure, everyone came and gave us support.

They laid hands on her and prayed over her, gave us kind words, the gave us love, many showed us how much they cared for us and wanted to keep praying for her and me. But as I got home I was thinking and believe me I was asking myself why me O God?, or you know what heck on all this junk, let me just up and leave the wife run away, go hide, I do not need this heartache there are better things in my life I can do for myself.

I did not believe what they were saying in church in the first place all them Holy than thou type of folks their nothing but a joke, it was all a show to make themselves look and feel good, but for some reason I stayed and we kept going to church.

Well as the first surgery came the folks of that church came, even the Pastor showed up and I thought great what these nuts are doing here. They said they came to lay hands on her and pray over her. I went ya right. So they did, now this surgery was supposed to take 5 hours. They came and sat with me in the waiting room, I said it was not needed, yall can go. But they said no were going to pray and sit with you. I went in my mind what ever.

So after about hour and 10 minuets I was paged by the nurse, as I walked over to the station she said the Doctor wants to see you. I went uh o she died on the table, so as I went into the room and sat down I thought great she is dead. Man thats going to cost me a lot of money to pay to have her buried. But also I said nice she dead good I can get me a new woman and go back to parting and living a good life, woot.

He walked in the room and as I looked at his face and was ready to hear the news. He said Mr. Thibodeaux she is doing great and is in recovery resting, some how it went far better than we expected and do not know why but it did, but everything is fine and you be able to see her in a hour. So I told the group from the church and they said praise the Lord, I looked at them funny and they went home.

So we went back to church after she got strong and told them she had to have 2 more surgeries. The day came for the 2nd one, they came and laid hands on her and it went well, wow the second, went even better than the first one and she was on her feet the next day.

Then came 3rd one double wow even better than the 2nd one, I could not believe how fast she recovered. She was walking around 1 hour after the surgery. So as she healed guess what, I was getting back wife back and the person I once knew.

Which brings me to this, during these times I was also was doing a lot of thinking and praying, yes believe it or not I was thinking a lot about God and his son Jesus and started asking for help. Seeing how well my wife did and how fast she recovered was starting to make a believer out of me and my love and faith for God and Jesus was starting to grow and I was thinking about it more.

More and more as time went on my faith in God and Jesus was growing stronger and stronger. Believe me the power of prayer is real and the power of faith is real, I was thinking you know what this may be real.

So during one night as I was helping Sherry with her bible studies she asked me a question and seeing I could not answer it we went to the pastor of that church to talk to him. As we drove up to the church we saw the lights on in the office, so we knocked on the door and as he open the door you could see he and his wife was crying.

So I said o, sorry did we interrupt something and he said no come on in. He asked us what brought us here and we told him we had a question to ask. So as we talked and as time came around he asked me a question. I told him ok go ahead. He told me you seamed like a very smart person, I smiled and I lifted my head up and said yep sure is why?

He said let me ask you this simple question, ok I said go ahead. He said Jim if you were to die right now where would you go?

I hung my head down and said because of knowing what you been preached in the last year and what you been saying about Jesus Christ dying on the cross for me and by not accepting him as my savior I was going straight to hell, and thats the fact. So he said well would you like to settle this issue tonight.

I said ok sure why not, he lead me though a prayer and in my heart I believed what he said, but did I hear bells and whistle nor did I see light or angles? No. Even as I went home I said to myself what did I just do? When I woke up in the morning, I could sense something in me was different, a week later Sherry gave her life to the Lord and 2 weeks later we were baptized together.

Now as we also found out a bit later on, that night when we went to his office, Him and his wife were at the point of shutting down the church and were praying in that room and asked God to send them someone or a sign, and at that time it was me and Sherry knocking on that door.

Because of that night I found out what Jesus did for me on the cross that I must do the same for him by giving up myself to God and Jesus and to follow his ways. During this stage in my life I came to know God and Jesus, and because of it I surrendered myself totally to him.

I asked Jesus to come into my life, to forgive me of my sins, to save my life and for me to live and be more like Jesus. This was the best thing that ever happen to me and my wife and thats the greatest gift anyone could wish for and receive.

I have found a new life and found the joys of living, theirs more to life than playing computer games to escape the problems of real life and the real world. I no longer find myself rushing home to turn on the computer to play the games, to escape, to hide, no longer finding myself wanting to hate, to party or do drugs. Because I have a new love in my life thats Jesus Christ, its God, its the love of my wife and new love called A Real Life in Christ, the things I ran away from I now run to.

In the past 9 years, me and Sherry are doing things we missed out on in the last 18 years of our lives and its real nice, and for her and me to sit down and talk about God and Christ in our lives, and to talk about the things God and Jesus has done for us and the life in heaven thats in store for us this is truly wonderful.

This is great joy we now have and were able to talk about God and Jesus Christ and the greatest gift a husband and wife can have by them knowing God, by knowing Jesus of how he can make a couple love each other more and to become stronger with each passing day and for them to love God and Christ with all their hearts.

With this new strength we are committing more of ourselves to God and Jesus, reading his word more and studying the word of God and doing more for the church. Plus we have surrender to the ministries and the Lord has called me to be a preacher and to serve him the best way I can by telling others what he can do for you.

I owe this to God, I owe to Jesus, he is real and their no doubt about it and he can do the same for you. We love those dear folks of the church and how they helped us, how they gave us support, how to love like Jesus did. They showed us what true real born again believers are suppose to be acting like and really showing us what Jesus Christ really is and what the true love of Christ can do for you and what that love can do for a church and what it can do for a sinner such as I.

I found peace, joy, happiness and to tell you the truth, my purpose is more than a computer games, more than hiding from my feelings, more than closing up my heart, more than running away from my problems. My new purpose in my life is following the path of Jesus Christ and God by obeying him fully and letting him showing me where I am needed and where I am going with my life. Letting him showing me how to serve others, and how I will serve the church.

Now my true purpose in life is I can share what Jesus Christ did for me and what he can do for you. Living to become more like Christ, and to show you what I have in my heart.

To show you what the love of God and love of Christ can do for you, so you or others may find what they are looking for. True peace, true life, and true love, pure Joy. All of my rage, the hate, anger and all those other issues went away, I was a new person. A new creation.

John 14:6 says - Jesus said that I am the truth, the way and the life and that no man can come to the father expect through me.

Why would anyone not want this true gift of life, the joys of love, and the happiness? The peace he can give you, take away all your pains, your hurt, anger and other issues you may have. What are you waiting for?

Please dont wait till its too late in your life or better yet don't waste the better part of your life thinking theirs no hope before accepting Jesus. Do so now while you really have the chance, do so before its really too late.

God Bless You and in the name of Jesus Christ and may you find the peace, The Happiness and the Joy of what you are searching for.

I have found what I was looking for and will never look back on that old life, now I just look forward to the new life in Christ of what he has in store for me, I was lost and Jesus found me.

This is my testimony and a true story. I hope this will give you the courage and strength and the wisdom you seek and to help you find God and to let Jesus Christ into your life. Believe me Jesus can change you and he can give you what you need if you just let him into your heart and be not afraid to call upon his name and ask for forgiveness in your life.

Believe me If he can forgive me of all the things I done in my life, and change me into a new person, then he can forgive you of what you did. Do so now and he will come to you. Just as he says in the bible, Jesus said, Behold I stand at the door and Knock.

Will you let him in? Would you let him change you, the choice is yours. Which Choice will you make? Lets Hope it's the correct one. Before its really too late.